Matthew 12:46-50
46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” [1]
Mark 3:20-21
20 Then he went home, and the crowd gathered again, so that they could not even eat. 21 And when his family heard it, they went out to seize him, for they were saying, “He is out of his mind.” [2]
When you’re studying a passage in the Bible it is helpful to read the passage and then ask yourself what is the great theme of the text? What is the main point? What’s theological truth stands out? With such a short and straightforward text as we just read, it might not take long for anyone to find a theme. Many could read this text and decide that the theme is that “a relationship with Jesus takes priority over every other relationship, even the relationship with one’s family.” [3]
That is a good theme, and it will certainly preach. To me however, it seems that Matthew has written this work to proclaim Jesus. Primarily, Matthew wants all of his readers to know who Jesus is, what he is like and what he has done (12:18-21). We have to admit chapter 12 has been grim. Death plots are forming against Jesus even as he continues sparring with the Jewish scholars while performing Messianic miracles. Jesus even promises the sign of his Messianic office will be his own death and resurrection. Now the chapter ends with a grim picture of Jesus’ family and how they have come to try to stop his ministry before Jesus gets himself killed.
The religious leaders find Jesus to be confusing. His disciples don’t quite understand him. Even his own family doesn’t quite get him and fears he must be breaking under the strain of ministry since he has upset so many important people with his extravagant claims. But none of the confusion swirling around him confuses Jesus in the least. He is laser-focused on his mission. And his mission is saving those the Father has given to him. So here, I think, is the point of the text: Jesus loves his own and offers them an intimacy far beyond any earthly relationships.
Matthew has slowly been building to this pivotal point both calling his readers to see and submit to the love of God in Christ Jesus. We have seen this push especially in the most recent context where Jesus claimed to be greater than the temple and greater than Solomon. So while other voices swirl in the air – the negative voices of the Pharisees, the confused voices of the crowd, and the concerned voices of his mother and brothers – we are to listen to the beloved Son. We need to hear what Jesus has to say about our relationship with him and the divine intimacy he offers.
THE “OUTSIDE” FAMILY
In this passage we see two ways that Jesus gets to his great theme. First in verses 46-48 he teaches that at this point in his ministry even his birth family is outside the household of faith. Look at verse 46, “46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him.” Then we come to verse 47. Hey, wait a minute! There is no verse 47 if you’re using an ESV translation. That is because many of the more reliable New Testament texts do not contain it. We have over 5000 Greek manuscripts of the New Testament copied from various times and places, and yet there are relatively few variants.
But, from time to time there is a slight mistake in the copying process (a forgotten letter, a word, something small). Other times, like our missing verse 47, some copyist decided to add a sentence. This occurs rarely. But here a copyist clearly thought the words “he replied to the man who told him” didn’t make sense unless this man was introduced. So he inserted the sentence “Someone told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, asking to speak to you.’”
Now, whatever you think of this insertion, note that whether this verse is inserted or not makes no theological difference. It basically repeats the action of verse 46. It is also quite close to Mark 3:32b. These relatively few textual variants actually point to the reliability of the text. The substantial number of copies and the relatively few differences make the New Testament one of the most reliable of any ancient document. So, there may not be a verse 47 in your edition of the Bible, but I’m willing to bet yours contains verses 48-50:
48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
The Lord’s earthly family comes to the house in which Jesus his teaching. As usual, there is a crowd packed into the house. The family taps on the shoulder of someone crammed into the doorway and asks for their request to be passed through the room to Jesus. Jesus does not directly respond to his family but to his followers who are within arm’s reach. He wants them especially to listen to what he has to say his reply is, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
Jesus is not being cute or ignorant. He knows that Mary is his mother. He knows Joseph is his earthly father (although many teachers believe Joseph had passed by this time). He knows he has earthly sisters (13:56). He knows he has four brothers (James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas; 13:55). We can note at this point that the mention of Christ’s brothers does not fare well for the Roman Catholic dogma of the perpetual virginity of Mary (that Mary remained a virgin her entire life).
We can note that the word “brother” is used in a number of places simply to refer to one’s fellow Jews or fellow Christians. In fact it is used that way here in verses 49, 50. But the word “brothers” in verse 48, as it is used in eleven other places in Matthew, refers to blood relatives. It is particularly evident that Matthew intends us to understand these are Jesus’ blood brothers because the word is preceded by the unmistakable reference to Jesus “mother.” The interpretation of scripture must determine doctrine, and so if Jesus had brothers, then Mary was not a perpetual virgin.
Now let’s return our attention to verses 46-49. Why is his family there in the 1st place? Matthew does not explain. He simply tells us they are “outside” and that is an important spatial and theological position. Jesus and his disciples are inside. Mary and Jesus’ earthly brothers are still outside. They are outside because they haven’t been following him like the disciples have.
While Matthew does not discuss their motivation, Mark and John tell us that at this point Jesus family was not sympathetic to his ministry. In fact, in John 7:1-5, which comes after Jesus has fed the 5000, walked on water, and done many other miracles, we learned that his brothers wanted Jesus to leave town because they feared for his life. John then adds, “For not even his brothers believed in him.” In Mark 3:20, 21, which we’ve read earlier, we find a similar disbelief.
Jesus’ family wants to seize him before the authorities do. Perhaps they have heard people are plotting to kill him. They have concluded that Jesus is not in his right mind. No one in his right mind would claim to be greater than the temple and greater than king Solomon. No one in his right mind would argue with the religious authorities, much less willingly endanger his own life over religious disputes. So, they come to take him quietly away.
When Matthew says they are “outside,” he means they are outsiders. That is, they don’t understand that Christ’s mission is the cross. Even Mary, as faithful as she was 30 years ago in the story, like John the Baptist in prison (11:1-24), struggles to make sense of the concept of the Suffering Servant. Who could have foreseen that Messiah’s mission is the cross? Who could understand that what looked to all the world like earthly failure was heavenly success?
So when Jesus says, “Who is my mother?” As hard as that might sound to us, it is a far tamer sentence then he will use for Peter when Peter tries to dissuade him from the cross: “Get behind me Satan!” (16:32). Both Peter and Mary have their minds set on the things of man. Both were on a rescue mission to save Jesus from the ultimate rescue mission. If the great theme of this passage is the love of Christ for his people, it is clear that all of his people will struggle with the form that love must take.
There are three applications we can note from this insider/outsider status. First, if his family showed confusion and concern and perhaps even hostility toward Jesus and the gospel, we Christians today should not be surprised if non-believers in our families think we are out of our minds (9:35-11:1). Don’t be surprised by family division and derision. Don’t be surprised if the nuclear family explodes.
The second application is this: give it time. If you have a family member who does not believe in Jesus right now, give it time. You might know this is not the last time we will see Jesus’ family. John notes in his gospel that Mary was present at the crucifixion. From the cross, Jesus asked John to take care of his mother (John 19: 26, 27). Mary will one day literally look at the cross of Christ. And on that day, or shortly thereafter, she would rejoice in God her Savior.
After the resurrection and on the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit came publicly and powerfully upon the church, who do we find as an insider in the upper room with Jesus’ disciples? All the disciples (minus Judas) were gathered in that room praying. Praying alongside them were the women who followed Jesus “and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers” (Acts 1:14). Isn’t that an amazing turnaround from the scene in our text? Through faith in their resurrected Lord, these outsiders in Matthew 12 have become insiders in Acts 1. Blood relatives have become spiritual relatives.
What happened when the divine wind of God breathed upon that room? That family preached Jesus as Lord, Jesus’ brother James most notably becoming one of the heads of the church in Jerusalem (Acts 15:13-21) and writing the epistle that bears his name and begins, “James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ” (James 1:1a). That is a humble admission from a brother who once considered Jesus to be crazy.
The third application is this: putting Jesus first is incompatible with an overly high veneration of Mary, James, Peter, John the Baptist, or anyone else. The Protestant Reformation was primarily a reform of worship. What should the form of our worship look like? More importantly, who should we worship? To whom should we pray? Should we pray to Mary and the Saints, or only to God through Jesus?
The Protestant reformers were willing to die over the issue of idolatry. Many did. Listen to the popular Roman Catholic prayer, Memorare, “Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided.” That is not mere veneration. This prayer to a God-like Mary is idolatry.
I’m not inviting you to start a religious war with your Roman Catholic friends and neighbors. I’m only asking that you look in the Bible and see if you find any such prayer. No one prays to Moses, David, or Abraham. No one in scripture prays to Peter, Paul, or Mary. We are to praise God and pray only to God. The Mary we find in the New Testament is to be emulated in her faith, not adored. She shared the same flaws as Peter, John the Baptist, and James, and yet like them and the heroes of the faith listed in Hebrews 11 she ran the race only by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Like us, the Mary of scripture prayed to Christ Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
BLOOD NOT THICKER THAN LIVING WATER
The first thing we have heard from Jesus here is that even his family was outside the household of faith. The second thing we learn is that blood might be thicker than ordinary water, but the living water Jesus offers, the water welling up to eternal life, the water of baptism, is infinitely thicker than blood.
We naturally think that our family is made-up of those related to us by blood or law. We had no choice in the matter, and we have to stick with them because they are our relatives. So, there is a thickness to our relationship. Jesus is not denying the bond of family. However, the unity of Spirit through faith and baptism it’s thicker than blood. It is more substantial, permanent, strong, and sure.
Look again at verses 49,50. “49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
This great statement Jesus is not breaking family ties but loosening them. He is not dissolving natural family bonds, which shows the strength of this supernatural family bond. And the beautiful thing is that he puts no spiritual value in blood relations or religious heritage. Do you see that? He doesn’t care if your father was the high priest or a pagan priest. The Kingdom of God is not open to the who’s who but to “whoever” (12:50). This royal family is open to tax collectors like Matthew. It is open to Jew and gentile, men and women, slave and free, saint and sinner.
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
Now look at verse 50, “50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” This is where a preacher who loves to tell people what to do can easily run off the rails and into the weeds of works righteousness. Some preachers and writers make it sound as if we enter the family of God by faith alone, but we can only stay in if we roll up our sleeves and start keeping God’s law. The New Testament contains quite a number of commands regarding Christian conduct. One sermon I read this week listed four or five pages of them in an attempt to define what “the will of my Father in heaven” is.
Did not the apostle John write “whoever believes in him may have eternal life” (John 3:15)? And yet here Jesus appears to limit the whoever to those who DO God’s will. Is Jesus talking about keeping God’s holy, perfect law? After all, Matthew devoted quite a few chapters to Jesus’ law-driven Sermon on the Mount. That is why the context of any statement we read is crucial to our understanding.
We’ve spent several weeks in chapter 12, and it is easy for us to forget what has come before us. Think back to 12:1-8 where Jesus claimed to be greater than David, to be the Son of Man, and to be the Lord of the Sabbath. Then, in verses 9-12, he proved this claim by healing a man with a deformed hand on the Sabbath and in the synagogue and all by the power of his word. Next, Matthew inserts a portion of Isaiah’s Song of the Suffering Servant to describe Jesus and his ministry.
In verses 22-37, when the Pharisees accuse him working miracles by Satan, he warns against the unforgivable sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit by attributing the Spirit’s works through Jesus to the devil. In verses 38-42, when the unbelieving religious leaders ask for a heavenly sign, Jesus promises only the sign of his death and resurrection. Can you see the context? Can you see the repeating pattern?
Jesus preaches with authority and the people are amazed. He performs the miracles prophesied of Messiah and astounds the crowds. He answers his religious opponents with scripture and unimpeachable logic. He claims the title Son of Man. The crowds are amazed and many wonder if he is Messiah. Many of those healed now likely know him to be Messiah. But the religious experts repeatedly reject Jesus. They even begin to plot to kill him on a Sabbath. So, what do you think the work that the Father requires is? TRUST into the person and work of Christ is the work the Father requires!
John Calvin explains it this way:
When he says that they do the will of his Father, he does not mean that they fulfil, in a perfect manner, the whole righteousness of the law; for in that sense the name brother, which is here given by him to his disciples, would not apply to any man. But his design is to bestow the highest commendation on faith, which is the source and origin of holy obedience, and at the same time covers the defects and sins of the flesh, that they may not be imputed. This, says Christ in a well-known passage, is the will of my Father, that whosoever seeth the Son, and believeth in him, may not perish, but have eternal life, (John 6:40.) Although these words seem to imply that Christ has no regard to the ties of blood, yet we know that in reality he paid the strictest attention to human order and discharged his lawful duties towards relatives; but points out that, in comparison of spiritual relationship, no regard, or very little, is due to the relationship of the flesh. Let us therefore attend to this comparison, so as to perform all that nature can justly claim, and, at the same time, not to be too strongly attached to flesh and blood. Again, as Christ bestows on the disciples of his Gospel the inestimable honour of being reckoned as his brethren, we must be held guilty of the basest ingratitude, if we do not disregard all the desires of the flesh and direct every effort towards this object.[4]
Let’s close simply by listening to that passage in John chapter 6 to which Calvin refers. It comes on the heels of Jesus feeding the crowd of 5000. The crowd searches for him after he leaves, and the religious professionals come again asking for a heavenly sign while the crowds just want more free bread. Do you see the similarity to our passage this morning? Now, here is how Jesus defines and expands upon the work that the Father requires:
25 When they found him on the other side of the sea, they said to him, “Rabbi, when did you come here?” 26 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. 27 Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” 28 Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” 29 Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” 30 So they said to him, “Then what sign do you do, that we may see and believe you? What work do you perform? 31 Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’ ” 32 Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.”
35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. 36 But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. 37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40 For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” [5]
[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Mt 12:46–50.
[2] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Mk 3:20–21.
[3] O’Donnell, Douglas Sean. Matthew: All Authority in Heaven and on Earth (Preaching the Word) (p. 347). Crossway. Kindle Edition.
[4] John Calvin and William Pringle, Commentary on a Harmony of the Evangelists Matthew, Mark, and Luke, vol. 2 (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2010), 91–92.
[5] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Jn 6:25–40. Emphasis added.
